It's Jess!

She/her, please and thank you!

No worries — it happens. Just correct yourself the next time and keep it moving. If you're talking about me when I'm not around and you slip up, try using my correct name (Jess!) in a few positive contexts to help reset your brain. That really helps!

Yes, please! That makes me feel really seen and supported. Just keep it kind and low-key. Something like “Oh, she goes by Jess now” or casually using the right name/pronouns in your next sentence is perfect. Of course, if someone is being rude or willfully disrespectful, feel free to bring the full sparkle-powered justice.

Of course! I've had a joyful life, and I'm proud of everything I've done so far. I just ask that you try your best to use my current name and pronouns, even when talking about me in the past. It's tricky — I still mess it up too! I care way more about your effort than your perfection.

Like I'm any other awesome woman you know. “Oh yeah, my friend Jess loves that wine!” is all I need. Keep it chill — no need to spotlight that I'm trans, just treat me with the same respect you'd want for yourself.

You don't need to go out of your way to make a big announcement — but if I come up in conversation and you feel comfortable, it's totally fine to let them know I go by Jess now and use she/her pronouns. Something simple like, “Oh, Jess is doing great — she's come out, actually, and goes by she/her now” is more than enough.

Please be kind, and try not to make it a thing. No need for drama — just facts and respect.

Say something kind and supportive — or nothing at all. Like my mother always told me: “If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!” You don't need to relate, share a similar story, or make it about you. A simple “I'm happy for you” goes a long way.

Great question — thank you for asking! The short version:

✔ Use my name and pronouns.
✔ Be respectful, even if you're still learning.
✔ Gently help others get it right too.
✔ Show up, listen, and support trans people.

You can find more awesome allyship resources, some of my favorite trans creators, and book recommendations below!

Recently — but once I did, my whole life clicked into place. Looking back, I can now see signs from early childhood, but social norms and expectations made it hard to fully understand who I was. I'm so grateful to have figured it out — even later in life!

I'm open to sharing some things! For example, I started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) in December 2024. If you're curious about what hormone therapy involves, here's a great overview from the Mayo Clinic:

👉 Feminizing Hormone Therapy – Mayo Clinic

More of a visual learner?

👀 These timelines from GenderGP might be more for you!

Nope. That's private, full stop. If we're close and I want to share, I will. Otherwise, asking about genitals or surgeries is crossing a boundary.

Just a reminder: gender-affirming surgery can mean lots of different things for trans women — breast augmentation, facial feminization surgery (FFS, which might include things like a nose job or jaw softening), or yes, bottom surgery. Every woman chooses her own path, and none of those decisions make her more or less of a woman.

Also? Cis people get gender-affirming surgery all the time. Ever heard of a “cute little nose job”? Yup — gender-affirming. Wild, huh?

This site is focused on gender, not sexuality — but thanks for being curious!

Just a quick note: gender and sexual orientation are different.

Gender is about who you are
Sexual orientation is about who you're into

So a person can be trans and straight, gay, bi, asexual, whatever! Being trans doesn't tell you anything about who I date or love — it's just about who I am 💖

Sure! Just check in first to make sure it's okay. If it's personal, I might not want to answer — but I always appreciate respectful curiosity.